Fear not

"For God did not give us a spriit of fear, but of power and of love and a sound mind" 2 Timothy 1:7

Anxiety, it's real. Spiritual warefare, it's real. And it can be a daily battle. I know because I've been there and I am still there too often.

It hit me March of 2007 almost a year after I suddenly lost my brother-in-law and the week after I spent time in the ER with my mom. I allowed myself to feed into a dehabilitaing lie and unfortunately, it still hits me. I became obsessed with thinking I have high blood pressure and that it was an emergency, didn't feel good and was fatal. The fact was/is I give myself high blood pressure, it's a trigger. I get so worked up by the thought and the act of having it taken, that I freak out. I have tried to lay it at God's feet but it still haunts me. As crazy as I sound, I have actually come a long way. About a year ago, I wouldn't have left my house and I was constantly paniced.

The Lord blessed me with two best friends who had gone through anxieties as crazy as mine. I walked with them through those trials in college and praise God, saw them on the other side. These girls prayed for me and encouraged me with words I cherished because of where they had been. (Thank you sweet friends).After praying A LOT, journaling and seeing a counselor, I decided I needed to try anxiety medicine. The Lord placed another sweet friend in my life that was on the same medicine and was able to encourage me and remind me it was okay. She was such a blessing at such a hard time in my life.It was certainly not by chance my paths were crossed with these girls. I always tease my friends that I'm sorry they were put in my life because that means they probably went or will go through some of the same struggles in life.

My anxiety brought me closer and more reliant on God than ever before. I held more tightly to His promises and His Word than ever before. In fact, I had compiled scripture I read and people shared with me in a journal I was keeping and when I went to highlight it in my bible, many of the verses had already been highlighted. It showed me how much I read different verses before but I didn't hide them in my heart. Now, these scriptures were on my heart and mind constantly. I typed up these verses and have been able to share them with several people. Please let me know if you would like a copy (I will try to upload them soon).

David seemed like he was writing my story sometimes, isn't it neat we can find pleading and praises that we can relate to and be encouraged by?! This became my new life verse:

He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in him. (Psalm 40:2, 3 NIV)

If you are going through anxiety, depression, constant worries/fears... stay encouraged. Whatever season you may be going through, it's just a season. God is with you through it all and I can testify to that.